Please don’t come to Europe. And if you really must, do not dare to come as political asylum seeker. This is a slap in the face to those that are persecuted in the world and cannot even enter fortress Europe because of our racist migration laws. The least you can do coming from the US, the most privileged country on earth, is to come here as regular migrant and pay for the visa process, find yourself a job, pay taxes and be productive. You are not politically persecuted in your country: you can vote, you can walk freely, you can demonstrate, you can work, you can express your political views. In the US you democratically elected your president: stay and dissent.
In a healthy society, people get pushback for behaving inappropriately, as Saul above did, and as you just did. This trolling habit you have will not make you happy; it's purely negative for you and others around you. Hopefully someday you'll realise that and fix it.
Ugh, so scary. I need to stay for various reasons, including my elderly mom. But I never thought this country would come to this. My dad grew up under fascism in Italy and didn’t want to end his life under it, but he made it out just in time — died in December at 93. My mom lived under a police state in Argentina. They brought us here from Argentina when I was two and I thought we’d escaped all that. Luckily I’m a naturalized citizen, but who knows what they could still do. Also Jewish, so I feel you. We’ve learned a sad truth: this can happen anywhere. Even here.
Wow Rosana, what a fascinating history in your family and how absolutely tragic that, as you said, here it is again when you thought you'd escaped that. Thank you for taking the time to comment. It's healing to feel like at least we all understand and are in it together.
This resonated with me so much. Thank you for writing it. My kids and I all left the US for non political reasons within the past few years, and now, watching from over here, I am really concerned for all the people I care about who are still in the US.
My public school curriculum gave me and my friends extensive lessons on the Holocaust but I think the thing that was missing was what to do if it happens again, what should you say, who should you talk to if you start to see the warning signs pop up again? Never again on its own was not the right message, I wish it had been "never again and here's how you can make sure."
That’s such a good point, Casey. I also think it’s not a coincidence that this is happening as most holocaust survivors have passed. We have forgotten. Living memory is almost gone. Timothy Snyder speaks to the “what to do and what to notice” very well. I get a lot of value from his work.
So let me get this straight—you’re fleeing the ‘fall of American democracy’ to move to Portugal? The same Portugal currently dealing with housing protests, political instability, and soaring cost of living due to digital nomads pricing out locals? Europe isn’t your utopia, babe—it’s just gentrified collapse with better pastries. But sure, run from one dumpster fire to another and call it ‘liberation.’
Thank you for sharing your beautifully candid and very real emotions as you take this step. I just moved to Europe two weeks ago after years of working towards this dream. Not because of the current horror show that is the US but it definitely solidified my decision. And I feel much of the guilt of leaving loved ones behind. There is a grief that I wasn’t expecting - an undercurrent to my days that I’ve come to welcome along as I work through all the emotions. If it helps, and I’m sure you know this, there are many of us on similar journeys. I wish you luck and peace as you move forward on yours.
Thank you so much, Meghan, for taking the time to comment here. Your supportive response means a lot to me. I also really appreciate the way you articulated your grief: "an undercurrent to my days that I've come to welcome along" - beautiful and I will remember that and let it help as well. :) Where did you move to?
Im spending 2 months in Vienna. I eventually plan to end up in the Netherlands but taking some time to explore other parts of Europe. Portugal is on my list of possible places to explore next!
Our family moved and it was intense as you feel now back in 2008. Very glad we did move however. Be open and loving. Advice to us was - jump and the net will follow. Good luck!
To be clear: we actually ARE on the edge of genocide. The Lemkin Institute for Genocide Prevention has been issuing increasingly concerned Red Flag Alerts (meant to point out conditions that may become genocide) on behalf of transgender Americans since March 2023, when a speaker at CPAC said that “for the good of society… transgenderism must be eradicated.”
I’ll say it has been almost funny (in a dark way) as someone who isn’t Jewish chatting with my Jewish friends about this. As a little kid learning about the Nazis, when I thought “what would I have done during the Holocaust” I was imagining myself as someone who would resist, not someone who’d get targeted for what I am. And they’re like “huh wasn’t picturing it this way around either, this is really weird.”
oof, that is so deeply disturbing. thank you for sharing this. one of my best friends is navigating this on behalf of her college kid, who she is sending out of the country for this reason. it just does not feel safe here.
Journalist Erin Reed (@erininthemorn here on Substack) has been covering transgender rights issues for years and it’s getting bad enough here that she’s now calling on the international community to start accepting us as refugees. She’s a great resource to learn more about what’s happening since a lot of major news outlets just don’t cover it.
I think almost the scariest part is that it seems like so many people don’t know it’s happening. I mean this in no way as a slam against you but you’re an example — you seem reasonably intelligent and well-educated/well-read/worldly so if you’re not getting this information then probably most people aren’t, you know? And if nobody but us understands the seriousness of what we’re up against, how do we prevent it? Because we know we don’t have the numbers on our own. (Unfun fact: percent of 1933 German population that was Jewish was slightly less than 1%; percent of current American population that’s transgender is slightly less than 1%.)
thanks so much for your story, and thoughts, including the monkey mind chatter.... I often think about how difficult it is for those of us who grew up in a free democratic world to wrap our heads around the thought: there is something bad happening, we need to leave. Because our tendency goes to: ahh no...can't be for real....it will not be THAT bad and we will be fine. So your example of the story in Rwanda nails it.
I lived for many years in the States, we moved "back" to Europe 8 yrs ago, so obviously not for the current reasons, and are extremely happy. And if we hadn't happened to move a while ago, we definitely would move now. Good luck with your move... Keep going, keep following your gut feeling.
thank you so much, claudia. yes, it's hard to wrap our minds around how this can happen, i think especially growing up in the 80s and 90s, as i did, when it was our naive understanding that stability and democracy was just "how it was." it's a reckoning for our generation. thank you so much for the encouragement - i'm glad to hear you're happy in europe and the move was good for you. :)
I left the US for other reasons but if I hadnt what is happening now would have been reason enough. I don’t think you are alarmist and even if you were you will almost definitely be a million times happier in Portugal so in the end it’s a great decision either way. I can’t believe how much happier I am in Italy and I left a lot behind (including a husband who can’t leave bc of work, at least right now)
Thank you so much, Kirsten for the encouragement! I have been following your journey and your viral post on this subject was a helpful nudge in this direction for me!
I appreciate you writing this and the fact I came across it today in my Notes feed. My husband and I are looking into buying a house in France (he's a Swiss citizen, and I'll be eligible to apply for citizenship through marriage in 2026.) We have no children, but I do have a large extended family, including my mother and sisters whom I love and spend time with often. I also love my country deeply — the beauty and the people. I grew up singing "Proud to be an American" and feeling it with all of my heart. Leaving will be strange and hard. But it does, as you pointed out, feel like the right thing to do now.
Hi Jill! That’s wonderful that you can get citizenship! Isn’t it such a complex decision though? The loss of what we leave behind. Thank you for sharing about your specific situation, I love hearing about people’s stories. 💕
It's a calculus each person and family needs to make for themselves, but the cold hard fact is that the US is not going to get better before it gets worse. We left in 2022 and have no regrets, even though it has been financially challenging. Now we are helping marginalized people leave. https://theconscientiousemigrant.substack.com/p/why-we-fled-the-us-in-2022-and-why?r=1h269a
I doubt if I’ll ever set foot in the US again. I do believe they’ll pull back from Fascism after they get a taste of what it is. Americans are naive (Yes, I’m American), and the electorate needs to get a broader education and sense of personal involvement. There’s been a coup by the 25%.
The whole world is watching this drama, like shocked neighbors watching a family brawl next door. Right now it doesn’t look good but American has had these cataclysms before.
I appreciate your perspective, that’s hopeful. i like your phrasing “like shocked neighbors watching a family brawl.” ha. thank you for taking the time to comment here. where do you live now?
Mexico, I was in France for 40 years and Italy for a few. I left the States in the sixties because I wanted to learn foreign languages and see a lot of art. I ended up getting a lot more than that, of course.
Speaking for normal people, I'm sorry you are a bad wife and mother, but glad you're taking your toxicity somewhere other than here.
Please don’t come to Europe. And if you really must, do not dare to come as political asylum seeker. This is a slap in the face to those that are persecuted in the world and cannot even enter fortress Europe because of our racist migration laws. The least you can do coming from the US, the most privileged country on earth, is to come here as regular migrant and pay for the visa process, find yourself a job, pay taxes and be productive. You are not politically persecuted in your country: you can vote, you can walk freely, you can demonstrate, you can work, you can express your political views. In the US you democratically elected your president: stay and dissent.
What's wrong with you? Adults don't communicate with each other this way.
Adults don't skip out on their families, or give cover to those who do.
In a healthy society, people get pushback for behaving inappropriately, as Saul above did, and as you just did. This trolling habit you have will not make you happy; it's purely negative for you and others around you. Hopefully someday you'll realise that and fix it.
Ugh, so scary. I need to stay for various reasons, including my elderly mom. But I never thought this country would come to this. My dad grew up under fascism in Italy and didn’t want to end his life under it, but he made it out just in time — died in December at 93. My mom lived under a police state in Argentina. They brought us here from Argentina when I was two and I thought we’d escaped all that. Luckily I’m a naturalized citizen, but who knows what they could still do. Also Jewish, so I feel you. We’ve learned a sad truth: this can happen anywhere. Even here.
Wow Rosana, what a fascinating history in your family and how absolutely tragic that, as you said, here it is again when you thought you'd escaped that. Thank you for taking the time to comment. It's healing to feel like at least we all understand and are in it together.
There are millions of people who understand this! Let’s hope that helps us overcome the insanity.
YES!
This resonated with me so much. Thank you for writing it. My kids and I all left the US for non political reasons within the past few years, and now, watching from over here, I am really concerned for all the people I care about who are still in the US.
My public school curriculum gave me and my friends extensive lessons on the Holocaust but I think the thing that was missing was what to do if it happens again, what should you say, who should you talk to if you start to see the warning signs pop up again? Never again on its own was not the right message, I wish it had been "never again and here's how you can make sure."
That’s such a good point, Casey. I also think it’s not a coincidence that this is happening as most holocaust survivors have passed. We have forgotten. Living memory is almost gone. Timothy Snyder speaks to the “what to do and what to notice” very well. I get a lot of value from his work.
So let me get this straight—you’re fleeing the ‘fall of American democracy’ to move to Portugal? The same Portugal currently dealing with housing protests, political instability, and soaring cost of living due to digital nomads pricing out locals? Europe isn’t your utopia, babe—it’s just gentrified collapse with better pastries. But sure, run from one dumpster fire to another and call it ‘liberation.’
You didn’t even bother taking your family with you? Go back. Wherever you are, you have no buidness there.
Thank you for sharing your beautifully candid and very real emotions as you take this step. I just moved to Europe two weeks ago after years of working towards this dream. Not because of the current horror show that is the US but it definitely solidified my decision. And I feel much of the guilt of leaving loved ones behind. There is a grief that I wasn’t expecting - an undercurrent to my days that I’ve come to welcome along as I work through all the emotions. If it helps, and I’m sure you know this, there are many of us on similar journeys. I wish you luck and peace as you move forward on yours.
Thank you so much, Meghan, for taking the time to comment here. Your supportive response means a lot to me. I also really appreciate the way you articulated your grief: "an undercurrent to my days that I've come to welcome along" - beautiful and I will remember that and let it help as well. :) Where did you move to?
Im spending 2 months in Vienna. I eventually plan to end up in the Netherlands but taking some time to explore other parts of Europe. Portugal is on my list of possible places to explore next!
maybe we’ll end up there at the same time! :)
Our family moved and it was intense as you feel now back in 2008. Very glad we did move however. Be open and loving. Advice to us was - jump and the net will follow. Good luck!
thank you very much, heather. i love that and i've lived most of my life that way - jump and the net will follow, yes! :)
To be clear: we actually ARE on the edge of genocide. The Lemkin Institute for Genocide Prevention has been issuing increasingly concerned Red Flag Alerts (meant to point out conditions that may become genocide) on behalf of transgender Americans since March 2023, when a speaker at CPAC said that “for the good of society… transgenderism must be eradicated.”
I’ll say it has been almost funny (in a dark way) as someone who isn’t Jewish chatting with my Jewish friends about this. As a little kid learning about the Nazis, when I thought “what would I have done during the Holocaust” I was imagining myself as someone who would resist, not someone who’d get targeted for what I am. And they’re like “huh wasn’t picturing it this way around either, this is really weird.”
oof, that is so deeply disturbing. thank you for sharing this. one of my best friends is navigating this on behalf of her college kid, who she is sending out of the country for this reason. it just does not feel safe here.
Journalist Erin Reed (@erininthemorn here on Substack) has been covering transgender rights issues for years and it’s getting bad enough here that she’s now calling on the international community to start accepting us as refugees. She’s a great resource to learn more about what’s happening since a lot of major news outlets just don’t cover it.
I think almost the scariest part is that it seems like so many people don’t know it’s happening. I mean this in no way as a slam against you but you’re an example — you seem reasonably intelligent and well-educated/well-read/worldly so if you’re not getting this information then probably most people aren’t, you know? And if nobody but us understands the seriousness of what we’re up against, how do we prevent it? Because we know we don’t have the numbers on our own. (Unfun fact: percent of 1933 German population that was Jewish was slightly less than 1%; percent of current American population that’s transgender is slightly less than 1%.)
thank you. yes i did not know it was happening to the extent that you're talking about. and i understand the fear you express here. it is sobering.
thanks so much for your story, and thoughts, including the monkey mind chatter.... I often think about how difficult it is for those of us who grew up in a free democratic world to wrap our heads around the thought: there is something bad happening, we need to leave. Because our tendency goes to: ahh no...can't be for real....it will not be THAT bad and we will be fine. So your example of the story in Rwanda nails it.
I lived for many years in the States, we moved "back" to Europe 8 yrs ago, so obviously not for the current reasons, and are extremely happy. And if we hadn't happened to move a while ago, we definitely would move now. Good luck with your move... Keep going, keep following your gut feeling.
thank you so much, claudia. yes, it's hard to wrap our minds around how this can happen, i think especially growing up in the 80s and 90s, as i did, when it was our naive understanding that stability and democracy was just "how it was." it's a reckoning for our generation. thank you so much for the encouragement - i'm glad to hear you're happy in europe and the move was good for you. :)
I left the US for other reasons but if I hadnt what is happening now would have been reason enough. I don’t think you are alarmist and even if you were you will almost definitely be a million times happier in Portugal so in the end it’s a great decision either way. I can’t believe how much happier I am in Italy and I left a lot behind (including a husband who can’t leave bc of work, at least right now)
Thank you so much, Kirsten for the encouragement! I have been following your journey and your viral post on this subject was a helpful nudge in this direction for me!
I’m so glad!!! 💜
Not everyone is cut out to fight. But if you have something that you can bring to the fight, I hope you stay. The ones who remain will need you.
I appreciate you writing this and the fact I came across it today in my Notes feed. My husband and I are looking into buying a house in France (he's a Swiss citizen, and I'll be eligible to apply for citizenship through marriage in 2026.) We have no children, but I do have a large extended family, including my mother and sisters whom I love and spend time with often. I also love my country deeply — the beauty and the people. I grew up singing "Proud to be an American" and feeling it with all of my heart. Leaving will be strange and hard. But it does, as you pointed out, feel like the right thing to do now.
Hi Jill! That’s wonderful that you can get citizenship! Isn’t it such a complex decision though? The loss of what we leave behind. Thank you for sharing about your specific situation, I love hearing about people’s stories. 💕
It's a calculus each person and family needs to make for themselves, but the cold hard fact is that the US is not going to get better before it gets worse. We left in 2022 and have no regrets, even though it has been financially challenging. Now we are helping marginalized people leave. https://theconscientiousemigrant.substack.com/p/why-we-fled-the-us-in-2022-and-why?r=1h269a
agreed. It’ll get worse before it gets better. Oof.
I doubt if I’ll ever set foot in the US again. I do believe they’ll pull back from Fascism after they get a taste of what it is. Americans are naive (Yes, I’m American), and the electorate needs to get a broader education and sense of personal involvement. There’s been a coup by the 25%.
The whole world is watching this drama, like shocked neighbors watching a family brawl next door. Right now it doesn’t look good but American has had these cataclysms before.
I appreciate your perspective, that’s hopeful. i like your phrasing “like shocked neighbors watching a family brawl.” ha. thank you for taking the time to comment here. where do you live now?
Mexico, I was in France for 40 years and Italy for a few. I left the States in the sixties because I wanted to learn foreign languages and see a lot of art. I ended up getting a lot more than that, of course.